I’ve heard from so many people recently who are pregnant after fertility problems who are full of anxiety and feel their pregnancies, which ought to be joyful, are being tainted by the worries from the time spent trying to conceive. Women then blame themselves once again for not being “normal”, but this is a perfectly understandable response to finally finding yourself pregnant after fertility problems. You may find it hard to have faith that things are going to be all right when you have become so accustomed to them not being all right.
It may be helpful to know that there is a closed Facebook group which I look after for the patient charity Fertility Network UK which is just for people who are pregnant after fertility problems which you can find at https://www.facebook.com/groups/Pregnancyafterinfertility/
The other resource which may be helpful is a book I wrote because I felt so strongly about the lack of understanding for people who are pregnant after fertility problems. It’s called Precious Babies – Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting after Infertility and you can buy it from Amazon. It goes from the positive pregnancy test right through birth and early parenthood to interviews with adults conceived by IVF and I hope it helps you realise that you are not alone and that others feel the same way after fertility problems.
Did you know that the charity Fertility Network UK now has a special online group meeting every month for those who are pregnant after fertility problems? The group is open to everyone and will have expert speakers from time to time who will can offer tips and advice and answer questions.
Many people feel anxious when they finally discover they are pregnant after some time trying to conceive, and it can be hard to relax and enjoy your pregnancy. Talking to others who really understand how you feel can be hugely beneficial and the group is online so you can join from wherever you are based. Although it is run via Skype, it is just like a conference call rather than a video conference so you don’t need to worry about being seen. You can find the details and information about who to contact to join here
For anyone who isn’t sure about joining a group but would still like some help, you can always call the Fertility Network UK support line and talk to the lovely Diane, or alternatively my book Precious Babies: Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting after Infertility may help
I don’t usually post links to articles from the Daily Mail, but this piece on an interview with Jennifer Aniston is worth reading. If you’ve ever felt swamped by endless questions about when you are going to have children, imagine what it is like to have them splashed across the media with speculation about when and whether you might be pregnant.
In this interview for American TV, Jennifer Aniston says she has no idea why people are so obsessed by her marriage and motherhood prospects – and says she doesn’t feel any less fulfilled because she hasn’t had children. It’s an important message – we don’t define men by whether or not they are parents, so why does it seem to happen so often to women?