We’ve all seen the stories about babies born to celebrities in their late forties – or even fifties – with no mention of how they got pregnant. It can make it seem as if having a baby at an age when most women are on the verge of the menopause is effortless when in fact the celebrities concerned will almost certainly have used donor eggs in order to conceive.
Now Sonia Kruger has spoken out about this – and I admit, I hadn’t heard of her, but apparently she is an Australian television presenter who hosts Big Brother and is described by the Mail as a ” fashionable 49-year-old” (because of course not many 49 year olds are “fashionable”….). Responding to a magazine headline which referred to her “miracle pregnancy”, she has gone public about her history of fertility problems, miscarriage and the fact that she was told by doctors that for any woman over the age of 45 the chance of IVF success using their own eggs was zero. She says her pregnancy is “science, not a miracle” and has been open about the fact that she needed donor eggs in order to get pregnant.
I’ve only just seen this incredibly moving article in The Guardian about the experience of miscarriage – you don’t need to have been through the loss of a pregnancy yourself to empathise with this piece. It does make you think about how little other people appreciate or understand what it feels like to lose a baby – especially when this happens more than once. Well worth reading – thanks Amy for writing it.
I wanted to add a post this week for Baby Loss Awareness Week. Today, October 15, is the international Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and this evening everyone can take part in a “Wave of Light” by lighting a candle at 7pm to remember all the babies who have died during pregnancy, at, during or after birth.
Experiencing a miscarriage or losing a baby is a devastating thing to happen to anyone, but if you’ve been finding it difficult to get pregnant and have been trying to conceive for a while before this happened, it is a very bitter double blow.
By lighting a candle tonight, you can join a ‘Wave of Light’ around the world in memory of all the babies who have been lost. You can be join together with others by taking a photo of your candle and post it to Facebook or Twitter using #WaveOfLight at 7pm.
If you are in or near London and are experiencing involuntary childlessness, you may be interested in a weekend workshop run by fertility counsellor Gill Tunstall.
Running in SW8 on October 18th and 19th, it is for anyone who has experienced infertility, failed fertility treatment, miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, premature menopause, stillbirth, terminations for medical reasons or otherwise neonatal death, or unwanted childlessness–whatever the cause, including lack of a partner. The intention is to allow participants to explore their emotions, and to open up the possibility of moving on in their life.
Women, men and couples are welcome. Partners are particularly encouraged to attend, and all sexual orientations are welcome.
Nearly half of women who have had a miscarriage are made to wait more than 24 hours to have a scan to check what has happened, according to a new survey of more than a thousand women for the website Mumsnet. The survey also found that one in five women had to wait for more than three days to get a scan – and once they were in hospital nearly half were treated next to women who had ongoing pregnancies.
Women who miscarried at home were often not offered adequate pain relief, and just 15% who miscarried at home after having a scan felt that they had the right support, information and pain relief to manage at home.
As anyone with any vague stirrings of empathy would appreciate, emotional support is essential after losing a baby but despite the fact that 58% of the women who responded wanted counselling, just 12% were actually offered it.
The results of the survey show a shocking lack of care and support for women who are going through a traumatic experience – and Mumsnet are suggesting people tweet the following politicians to ask for their support to change things for the better – Jeremy Hunt (@Jeremy_Hunt), Andy Burnham (@andyburnhammp) and Norman Lamb (@normanlamb)