Managing Mother’s Day

Carl_Strathmann_-_Bunch_of_Wild_Flowers_(13354976844)It’s one of the most difficult times of the year for anyone trying to conceive, and it’s here again. A day focused on celebrating motherhood is bound to be challenging for anyone who is longing for a family, but the time leading up to it can be the hardest part to deal with. It’s virtually impossible to escape Mother’s Day when every local shop has jumped on the commercial bandwagon and even the local supermarket seems to have decided to label anything you might possibly give to anyone else as a “Mother’s Day Gift”.

Mother’s Day can act as a horrible reinforcement of the sense of isolation and loneliness that you may feel as more and more of those around you seem to be pregnant or new parents. It can make you feel like an outsider whose life has become completely cut off form those around you.

 

If you know anyone else who is experiencing difficulties getting pregnant or who doesn’t have children, this can be the ideal time for meeting up with them. Getting together for a day out, a trip to the cinema or theatre or sharing a meal can be a good way of reminding yourself that you are not alone. This Thursday evening, March 3, there’s a get together for anyone experiencing fertility problems in Central London and if you’d like to come along and join us you’d be very welcome (for details, email katebrian@infertilitynetworkuk.com).  On Sunday March 6 itself, you may be interested to know that Gateway Women’s Jody Day will be giving a live talk on BBC Radio’s Mother’s Day Service – you can find details here 

 

However you decide to spend Sunday, remember that you are not alone. There are around 3.5 million people in the UK alone who are going through difficulties at any given time, and every one of them will be experiencing very similar feelings about Mother’s Day.

 

It’s that time of year again – dealing with Mother’s Day

120px-Assorted_gin_bottles_on_a_store_shelfI got an email the other day from the supermarket I use for online shopping which was all about special offers for Mother’s Day. I was about to delete it when I noticed that the suggested purchases included chocolates, daffodils and two different brands of gin – I must admit, I’d never imagined a bottle of mother’s ruin as a traditional Mother’s Day present…

Gin aside, the email summed up the way that Mother’s Day has become such an enormous marketing opportunity and why it is so difficult to escape. You go to the corner shop on a Sunday morning to pick up the papers and find yourself faced with endless lines of Mother’s Day cards, all the bath oils and body lotions in the chemists have suddenly been re-labelled as suggested Mother’s Day gifts – and it starts to feel as if the entire world is conspiring to remind you of the one thing you want to be but aren’t.

It is hard to get away from, and it is one of the hardest times of the year for anyone experiencing fertility problems. It can make you feel horribly isolated, especially if most of your friends have children. I always think Mother’s Day is a good day to meet up with those you know who don’t have families and do something together, but this year I’d also say, don’t forget your own mother if you are fortunate enough to still have her around. My lovely mother died a few months ago, and this will be my first Mother’s Day without her – it made me realise that Mother’s Day isn’t just sad when you aren’t a mother yourself, but also when you no longer have anyone to buy a card for.  So, I’d say if you are able to then maybe try to enjoy being a daughter this Mother’s Day and make the most of your own mum.