Royal pregnancy announcement

Pregnancy announcements are never easy when you’re trying to conceive, but one which has swamped the media and is this morning taking up endless pages of many newspapers is particularly difficult to avoid. What makes this announcement even more challenging is that the Royal couple were only married a matter of months ago, and seem to have conceived with effortless ease.

It was unfortunate that the announcement came during Baby Loss Awareness Week, on a day when many people were preparing to light candles for the Wave of Light in memory of their own losses. Although the couple have been criticised online for this, the most likely reason is that they simply didn’t know the significance of the day.

The endless discussions about the Royal pregnancy are going to go on – and on, and on – during the next few months. One of the best ways of dealing with that is to spend time with other people who understand how you feel about this because they share similar experiences. Why not try one of Fertility Network UK’s fertility groups which run across the UK? They’re an ideal opportunity to meet others and can be really empowering. I admit I am biased about this as I run the group in South East London, but that’s because I know how much it can help. Being with other people who understand, and who share your conflicted feelings about pregnancy announcements can make all the difference. It can help you to realise that you are not having a personality change and becoming an unkind person, but are reacting in a perfectly normal way to an emotional challenge. You can find details of all FNUK’s groups here, and it there isn’t a group near you, they can offer other support too – have a look at their website

World Mental Health Day, and why it matters to fertility patients

Today is World Mental Health day, and a good time to think about the mental health impact on fertility problems, tests and treatment. All too often, there’s an attitude from those with no experience of infertility that it isn’t a really serious problem, and yet anyone who has been through this themselves will be only too aware of the way it can impact on your health.

A survey for the patient charity Fertility Network UK and Middlesex University found that respondents reported feeling sad, frustrated, fearful and worried, out of control and helpless most of the time. They often felt stressed, tearful, inadequate, angry, isolated, despairing, depressed, guilty or shamed and experienced low confidence and concentration and a loss of sex driven. They also felt unsupported. Even more alarmingly, 42% of respondents said that they had experienced suicidal feelings.

If you are going through treatment and are finding it tough, there is help and support out there. The patient charity Fertility Network UK offers free group meetings around the country where meeting with other people going through similar experiences can be hugely helpful, and have a support line and online forum too. The British Infertility Counselling Association has a host of specialist counsellors ready to help with emotional support, and you can also talk to your GP if you are feeling in need of counselling. Don’t suffer alone.

Meeting tonight – meet Fertility Network UK Chief Exec

If you’re in South East London, tonight at 7pm at the Fertility Network UK office which is at 20 Egerton Drive Greenwich SE10 8JS, you can come along and meet Aileen Feeney, the Chief Exec of Fertility Network UK, who is going to talk briefly about what the charity does and the support it can offer. The office is near to Greenwich station and DLR. Hope to see you there! x

Join us to talk about coping at Christmas

 

If you’d like to join us for the Fertility Network UK online chat via Skype on Wednesday 13th December at 7pm, we will be discussing Christmas. It’s always a hard time for anyone who is experiencing fertility problems, and we’ll be talking about some strategies which can help with a Q and A session at the end.

You can find the details of how to join on the Fertility Network UK website.

Have you tried a support group?

If you’re immediately thinking “I don’t need a support group” or “I don’t like the sound of support groups”, “Aren’t they full of needy people?”, “Wouldn’t it be a bit embarrassing?” or “I think it would make me feel worse” – think again…

“I don’t need a support group” – Does anyone absolutely need a support group? Not really – but for those who go along, it can be a welcome additional source of companionship and support. You may not need a group, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find it helpful.

“I don’t like the sound of a support group” – I often think that calling fertility networking groups “support” groups is one of the most off-putting things about them. The idea of a support group conjures up visions of having to start by saying “My name is x and I am infertile”. It’s not like that at all. Think of a support group as a way to meet up with others who are going through similar experiences and an opportunity to share and learn from one another.

“Aren’t they full of needy people?” – No, they are full of people like you and me. We all need help sometimes, but the groups are full of people who are actively doing something about this and have decided to help themselves. They’re the stronger ones who are finding ways to get the support we all need during fertility tests and treatment.

“Wouldn’t it be a bit embarrassing?” – People are often anxious about going along to their first support group. Fertility problems are so personal and so intense and it can feel frightening to think that you are going to open up a bit in front of others – but remember you don’t have to. What you say in a group is up to you. Some people talk a lot, others a less depending on how they feel and what they need. A group is a source of warmth and friendship rather than of embarrassment and most people overcome any shyness very quickly.

“I think it will make me feel worse” – You might think that an evening focusing on fertility would be a rather gloomy and miserable event – and that it would be full of tears and sadness. In fact, in every support group I’ve ever run, there has been far more laughter than tears – if you don’t believe me, why not try one and see…

You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by trying a support group. Fertility Network run them right across the UK, and groups are listed on the Fertility Matters events page so you can find your nearest group. Go along and see what you think – you may find you are pleasantly surprised…

Free fertility support

Cmhc-LqWYAAWk88In recent years, there has been a huge increase in the numbers of people offering fertility support services – often at premium prices from people who have no relevant qualifications and limited knowledge or expertise. What many people don’t realise is that the national charity, Fertility Network UK, provides an amazing range of support services which are all completely free.

The Fertility Network Support Line, run by a former fertility nurse, Diane, offers a unique fertility support service. Diane has a wealth of experience and has worked for the charity for more than 20 years, She can help not only with minor medical questions but provide you with the help you need based on her years of experience, and all calls to her are in complete confidence.

The Support Line has often been described as a ‘lifeline’ by those dealing with fertility issues. It is very normal to feel isolated, out of control, lonely or depressed when dealing with infertility, and Diane is there to help. No question is too trivial to ask and even if you just want to talk you can give her a call on 0121 323 5025 between 10am – 4pm on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, or email her at support@fertilitynetworkuk.org.

Of course, that’s not all the charity has to offer. You can find a wide range of support groups right across the UK, an online community, a Facebook page and masses of information. Do check it out now at fertilitynetwork.org and save the money you were about to spend – or perhaps consider donating it!

Why it’s worth considering a support group

images-2Going along to a support group can seem a bit outdated when so much support is online now, but there is still a place for the old-fashioned way of getting together. The survey released for National Fertility Awareness Week by Fertility Network UK and Middlesex University found that just 17% of respondents had attended a support group, but more than half (52%) would have liked to attend one if they’d had the opportunity.

It isn’t easy to go along to a group for the first time, and the very idea of a “support group” can sound off-putting. I think people often imagine something terribly gloomy and it can take courage to take the first step and commit to going to a meeting. In fact, most people who do get as far as going to a group tend to find it incredibly helpful. There’s something very empowering about being with other people who understand what it’s like to experience fertility problems, to share experiences and to learn from one another. People are often surprised at how upbeat and cheerful the groups can be. Of course, there is sadness sometimes but there is also a lot of laughter and many friendships are forged.

If you have a group near you, why not give it a try – and if you don’t, maybe you could think about setting one up yourself? You don’t need any special training as a group can be a simple matter of arranging a get-together at a local cafe. Those who have done this in the past have found it to be incredibly rewarding at many levels – you may be interested in this article by Fertility Network UK volunteer Ridhi Sahi about her experiences and you can find out more about volunteering as a support group organiser here.

Support for South Asian women

images-2If you are from a South Asian background and experiencing difficulties getting pregnant, there’s a group in London just for you. A new Infertility Network UK group is being set up in London for Asian women. It will be a friendly and informal group, which will be open to all. For more information please contact Anita at asianfertilitygroup1@gmail.com

Want to know more about adopting after fertility problems?

If you’re interested in finding out more about adopting after fertility problems and live in or near London, you may want to come along to the next meeting of the Central London fertility group in Vauxhall on February 4th. We’ll be joined by a speaker from First 4 Adoption who will be giving a short talk about adoption and will then be around to answer any questions you may have. We will have time for our regular catch up and chat too.

This is open to everyone and is completely free – if you’d like more details, email katebrian@infertilitynetworkuk.com

The group is run, funded and organised by the charity Infertility Network UK.

Eastbourne support

images-2Infertility Network UK are launching a new support group  at the BMI Esperance in Eastbourne. If you live nearby, why not go along? Support groups are an invaluable way to get together with others and share experiences. Most people find it incredibly helpful and rewarding if they do manage to go along – the groups are informal and chatty and not at all intimidating!

If you’d like to go, you can contact Hannah who will let you know when there’s a date for the first meeting – email  hannahtramaseur@infertilitynetworkuk.co