Living with involuntary childlessness

Today I went to meet a PhD researcher from the University of London who is keen to talk to women about their experiences of living with involuntary childlessness. Her work is focused on women in midlife who are involuntarily childless, and she is looking for women who meet the following criteria-

  • Are you a woman, aged between 45 and 55, who wanted to have your own biological child and are no longer trying to have a child?
  • Are you in a long-term heterosexual relationship with no adopted, step-children or children of a partner from a previous marriage/relationship?

There are some other criteria for the research which researcher Megumi Fieldsend will discuss if you might be willing to share your experiences confidentially.  She is conducting face-to-face studies with the women who are willing to take part, and this will involve between an hour and an hour and a half which will be spent talking about your thoughts, feelings and experiences. All information will be kept confidential and anonymous.

The research aims to provide information to help other people who have been through similar experiences in midlife. It will also add to the psychological understanding about what life means for people living with involuntary childlessness.

If you are interested in taking part, you can email Megumi, who is studying at Birkbeck, at for more information.


3 thoughts on “Living with involuntary childlessness

  1. I am 53 years old, and ironically going through the Menapause at the moment.
    I had a miscarriage with a long term boyfriend in 1989… then after marriage to another partner in 1993, discovered my husband had a very low sperm count. I have had 4 failed Artificial Insemination procedures. The whole experience has been very damaging to my Mental Health. My current Menapause misery has made me revisit a lot of pain over involuntary childlessness, a life of regret.I don’t think I will ever come to terms with it . Subsequent depression contributed to my marriage ending in 1993.
    I am now with a new partner after 2 years alone. We met when I was 50 and still having regular Periods, for a while I thought maybe I could become pregnant at last, but it was not to be.So now I have to try and accept the finality of my fertility, and it is very hard and painful.

    • I am so very sorry to hear you’ve had such a difficult time. It is very hard and I don’t think we are always well enough informed about our fertility – many women expect they can get pregnant if they are still having periods but in fact this is not the case as we approach the menopause. The one thing I would suggest if you haven’t already tried it is to contact More to Life – – and Gateway Women –, as many women in similar situations have found them very helpful. The other place you might like to visit is Lesley Pyne’s website – Take care and thank you for taking the time to comment.

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