When you read about fertility problems, it’s nearly always women who are speaking out and telling their stories, but I’ve been really heartened to see that more and more men are opening up about their experiences of fertility tests and treatment. This article by Dan Rookwood in the Evening Standard is a great example.
Dan makes it clear that it isn’t just women who find it difficult when other people announce their pregnancies, that it isn’t just women who feel the disappointment when every period comes, that it isn’t just women who come to dread that question about when they are going to get around to having children… And anyone who has struggled with a diagnosis of unexplained infertility and who has been told that being less stressed might help will know exactly where Dan is coming from when he says that “nothing stresses you out more than someone who can’t give you any definitive answers telling you not to stress out“.
It’s a great article and well worth a read – it’s really important that we start to realise that fertility problems affect men just as much as they affect women.
One small quibble though – Dan says that he and his partner opted to transfer two embryos in order to “double our chances of success“. It is very important to be aware that although it may feel that way in fact putting back two embryos most definitely doesn’t double your chances of success – it just increases your chance of having twins. Dan explains that he and his partner began their treatment in the US, and if that’s where they had their IVF, it would explain this entirely as not all clinics in the States are as concerned as we are here in the UK with reducing multiple pregnancy. Here, a team would usually recommend single embryo transfer for a first IVF cycle if the embryos were good quality. Although we all know twins who are fine, many others are not – and multiple pregnancy is the biggest health risk from IVF, which is why it is so important to choose a fertility clinic which has a good success rate combined with a low multiple rate.