Christmas is one of the most difficult times of the year when you’re trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant – it can seem as if it embodies everything that you’re longing for – but the new year should be a refreshing new start. During my fertility journey, I’d begin every January hoping that this was going to be my lucky year – but as January followed January without any change in our circumstances, it was harder to feel really positive that things might ever change.
I think one of the most difficult things about infertility is the fear that there may never be a happy ending, and that you may be stuck on the conveyor belt of tests and treatment and unhelpful advice for the rest of your life. I always used to think that I wouldn’t actually mind how long it took me to get pregnant – if only I could know for certain that one day it would happen. Over the years, I’ve spoken to hundreds of people who’ve had personal experience of infertility, and there is always a resolution to the situation eventually, even if it isn’t the one they’d anticipated.
It’s hard to keep being upbeat when you’re struggling to conceive, and I don’t think all that “advice” which suggests that thinking positively will improve your chances of getting pregnant is helpful – infertility makes you miserable and feeling guilty about feeling fed up leads to an endless circle of blame and guilt. Far better to accept that this is difficult, that it is tough and upsetting – but to try to remember that you will emerge from the other side eventually, no matter how long it may take. I hope that this year gives you the happy ending you’re hoping for, but if it doesn’t happen in the next few months, try not to feel despondent – this won’t go on forever and there will be a resolution.