Coping with Christmas

images-1This is always a difficult time of year for anyone who is trying to conceive – you can’t escape the most painful reminders of what you don’t have in the face of festivities which are so often focused on happy families and excited children. It can make you feel very lonely and isolated, and it’s always worth remembering that there are 3.5 million other people in the UK at the moment feeling very much how you are about it all.

There’s no shortage of advice about how to get through the Christmas period for people with fertility problems, but I think the most important thing that you can do is to be kind to yourself, accepting that this is never going to be an easy time. Do all that you can to protect yourself which means that you may want to say that you can’t go to your nephew’s nativity play or a family party if you know it is going to really upset you. Don’t feel guilty about making an excuse if you need to. Sometimes other people may not seem to understand, but there’s nothing wrong with being honest and saying that actually you would just find it too painful if you feel able to do that. Otherwise, you can always make an excuse – at this time of year, there are often so many things on that it’s very common to be double-booked.

If you have friends who are going through fertility problems, it can be a good time to make arrangements to spend time together and do something different. You may even want to get away completely if you are able to or perhaps do something different – volunteering with an organisation like Crisis which provides Christmas for homeless people. If you are having a family Christmas, you can always opt out of the bits that you find particularly challenging. It is not going to be easy – but take care and remember that looking after yourself comes first.

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